Memoiren einer Seele

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Hello dear ones,

Today a completely different topic, which is at least as important as my transition. Because it affects my entire life so far and in the future. Even though, in retrospect, it was always clear, it was only diagnosed a few years ago.

One might wonder why it was diagnosed so late. Similar to my trans identity, it didn’t even occur to me before that I might have ADHD, because I had a completely false picture of it. As is far too often the case, good education was lacking here. So it was only my therapist who at some point came up with the idea that I could fall into this spectrum. Whereupon I immediately made a comprehensive diagnosis in a specialized clinic (Fliedner Klinik, Gevelsberg).

Because of my previous idea of what ADHD is, I didn’t assume at first that it would actually be diagnosed. But, as so often in life, things turned out differently than I thought.

And now, for the first time in my life, I have a clear grip on who I am and why I am the way I have always been, because of my trans identity and ADHD diagnosis. And that’s a hell of a thing to work with.

ADHD – like basically any other diagnosis – is first a spectrum and just a category under which it’s possible to look in a certain direction and figure out what I personally can do with it.

I recently saw a TikTok on the subject and could identify with it to a large extent. Since it was in English and I wanted to add to it, I transcribed and translated it and recorded my own version.

Here are the texts and videos of my and the original version.

Table of Contents

My Version

ADHS is depressing

It holds a mixture of many opposites.

You fit in everywhere
and yet nowhere.

You are capable of anything
and at the same time rarely motivated to do anything.

You are very good at giving advice,
but you don’t follow any of it yourself.

You are an extrovert,
who at the same time needs a lot of personal space.

You love to be different,
but you hate to be misunderstood.

You have brilliant ideas,
but you lack patience and time to realize them.

You have more interests than any other person you know,
but you get bored very quickly with everything you do..,
because you need the challenge, always.

You are able to quickly understand the different information and thoughts of others.
However, it is difficult for you to translate your own thoughts in a way that others can understand.

You are charismatic
and at the same time you have a low tolerance for bullshitters and phonies.

You are most likely a genius,
but you have difficulty dealing with your own emotions.

You may be arrogant, but you are very aware of your own mistakes
and you try to correct every little mistake immediately.

You are amazingly compassionate,
but it rarely shows on your face, and you seem cold from the outside.

We make our lives look like fun and easy,
but most of the time it’s very exhausting.

Translated with (free version)


ADHS is fucking depressing

It’s a mix of everything.

You will fit in everywhere,
but nowhere.

You are arrogant,
but you are very much aware of your own faults.

Capable of anything.
Yet not motivated to do anything.

We’re charismatic
but have a low tolerance for bullshit people.

Great with advice
but follow none of it.

You are most likely a genius
but have trouble handling your own emotions.

You are an extrovert
that needs a lot of personal space.

You love being different
but you hate being misunderstood.

Have brilliant ideas
but lack the patience to follow through with them.

Have more interests than anyone you know
but will get bored in everything of them.

Easily understand the thoughts of others
but find it hard to translate your own.

Surprisingly compassionate.
Yet seemingly very cold.

We make it look fun
but it’s really not.


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